What are you doing, sitting there writing that article, “Ann”? Who do you think is going to read it?
Come on, “Barry”. Up your game. Get out of that conference call to Helsinki at once. Inka Heino has no time for you.
It’s time to answer the important questions: When did your name get so dreary? How can you get your bylines to stand out? Would it be possible, even, to go freelance with your skills as a clickbait writer without your broadsheet boss finding out?
If we had anything to do with it, Trevor McDonald would be Elick Rubini, Rebekah Brooks would be Tamiko Fiery and Louis Theroux would be Barnibus T. Knox.
XCity Plus is here to help you with our nifty pseudonym generator. Take a look.