My boyfriend is often asked what it’s really like to date a journalist. Are the hours really long? Are we always wired? Do we ask more questions than Joey Essex? Us journalists are witty, passionate and driven – but we’re also neurotic, sleep deprived and attached to our smartphones. So the next time you start dating someone, here’s what to tell them to look out for – they’ve been warned!

We’re really nosy

We’re all competing for exclusives, sources and scoops, so we ask a lot of questions. Not only will we ask who you’ve been with, we will  also ask when it was, for how long and how serious it was. We pride ourselves on truth-telling, fairness and accuracy, so don’t be scared if we reach for a spotlight and a lie detector. That won’t be the end of it, though – when you’re dating a journalist, you’ll almost certainly end up being the subject of one of our pieces. It’s just a matter of time.

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We are always busy

We are pretty busy creatures, what with all those press conferences and networking events – and maybe even a crime scene or two. We don’t have a timetable – news can break at any given time, so our partners need to get on board with this. We might be meeting you for a lunch date, but if our editor is on the phone pressing for us to cover a recent story, even you can’t get in the way of that. As Arthur Schopenhauer, the German philosopher, notoriously said: “Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark”.

We will network with anyone

Business cards and Twitter handles are our handshake. Human interest stories are produced thanks to the humans behind them, so if we get a whiff that our S/O has a contact with a story, we want to be friends with them. Even if your father’s girlfriend’s ex-yoga instructor has an interesting scoop, we’re on it.

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We are grammar freaks

We can handle bad habits, horrible traits and poor posture, but we draw the line at appalling grammar. Not knowing the difference between “their” and “there” is up there with cheating. Remember Ross and Rachel’s blow up over her misuse of the word “your”? Our reaction will be even worse – and that alone is pretty frightening.

We’re not alcoholics, we swear

Or, at least that’s what we tell ourselves every. Single. Friday. Our working days can be very up and down, so we’ll either be drowning our sorrows or drinking to celebrate – you’ll have to be able to keep up.

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